How do you deal with difficult family during the holidays?

Getting together with relatives this holiday season?
Adjust your attitude
If you are already anticipating that a gathering will be stressful, your anxiety may get worse by the time the actual gathering begins, says Thomas C. Lian, MD, a psychiatrist and behavioral health medical director with Scripps Health.

Try focusing on the positive. Before get-togethers with family members, think about the qualities you like about them, rather than focusing on the negative, says Diep Ho, MD, a family medicine physician at Scripps Clinic Rancho San Diego.

Keep potentially upsetting topics off-limits
Politics and religion are obvious, but people also bring up sensitive subjects without thinking about how they might affect others. Are you ever going to get married? may seem harmless, but more likely than not, it will strike a nerve. Plan to keep conversation conflict-free by avoiding potentially sensitive topics, or simply ask whats new and take it from there.

Have realistic expectations
As refreshing as it would be if your Aunt Marge didnt criticize your outfit this year, she probably will. Dont expect people to change when they have behaved in the same way for years. Minimize your contact with difficult relatives, and spend more time interacting with people you like, suggests Dr. Lian.

Dont drink too much
If you drink alcohol, do so in moderation. Some people become aggressive or argumentative when theyve had too much to drink, notes Dr. Lian. If you are one of them, minimize your drinking or stick to non-alcoholic beverages. Avoid people who have had too much to drink, and dont let them drive.

Get active
Its difficult to be drawn into an argument when engrossed in an activity that requires concentration, physical activity or laughter, says Dr. Lian. Play a game, go for a walk on the beach or watch a funny holiday movie.